You are afraid of success!

      Well aren't you? You know you are. You are just so up in your head you've made yourself believe that you aren't.

      Are you happy with what you have/are ? If you are than I bow down to you and pray that you will stay that way all the way up to the end of your life. Because it would suck pretty much to reach your death bed and realize you didn't achieve all that you would have liked to.

       Of course, happiness is a choice you make. You decide to be happy. It's all in your head. Because there is always someone that has more than you. There is always someone that looks better than you, or has a prettier girl/boyfriend than you. You can't beat yourself up for not being the most awesome person in the world. Even if you were the best at something, you can't be the best at everything. But back to what we started with: SUCCESS.

       What is success? Is it winning? Well it sort of is, but we are talking about success in life, not having success in a particular sport/game. Success in life is constructed upon achievements. Every time we get an achievement we experience a warm feeling, telling us we are successful. Graduation, first kiss, first good payed job taken, first child born, etc. 

       So if having success feels so nice, why are we afraid of success?

           For starters, we may have never experienced success in that particular domain. I remember back in college that I almost dropped out of school because I thought that it wasn't doing me any good finishing it, and that I am only wasting my time. Now, this maybe true, if you choose the wrong specialization, but it definitely wasn't for me, as it turned down to be. 

         It always help visualizing the victory. Imagining how good it will feel after you have reached the goal. Of course you cannot know for sure, if you haven't experienced it before. This is where reading comes in handy. You want to know how having a loving partner would feel? Read romances, and prepare for major disappointments :). Just kidding. Most romances, but especially popular ones have true to them. The same is if you strive to become a famous business man/woman. 

         What I am trying to point out is that everybody has his fears, fear of  success being just one of them. And fear of success is something that holds many people back (mostly introverts - check here for personality test). It can be a bugger also, mostly because many people don't know it exists and that they have it.

          Standard situation:

          You are a 15 years old boy. Your looks don't help you very much in getting girls, but that doesn't really bother you. You are a smart kid, and you have good grades in school, so your brain is something you consider to be on your side. You haven't experienced real hurt yet, rejection, you are unaware. This is a gift, I might say because you can imagine being rejected, but since you haven't experienced it yet, you still give it a try. So, there is this girl, the prettiest girl in class which you reaaaaly like (of course, why would you go for the fat and ugly ones, right :) ). So you make up the courage to talk to her and express your feelings, but for whatever reason, you get turned down. You feel devastated! It's over. You try again one more time, maybe she gave you a reason for her rejection that wasn't you, so you draw hope (God, I hate it when this happens), but the result is the same.

         So now you begin to rationalize, right? Because you are a smart kid, you start and think, because that is what smart kids do. So because you are rejected you begin thinking there is something wrong with you, and over time you really begin to believe that. Social media gives you examples, you compare everyday and conclude you are not good enough. 

          Time passes and you change. Slowly you change, not even noticing. You are more attentive with your looks, you improve, you become better. But no one tells you this. Not even your stupid brain. You go to a good university (because you are that smart kid) hoping for "love" (what else at this age?). But your stupid brain reminds you you have "problems", and also that you fucked up big time years ago, and man, have you felt down for 2 weeks after that rejection?

       But then, something happens. Because you became an awesome guy, you have fun and you bring value in the lives of others you meet a girl (or she meets you, because you are so up in your head and you are too afraid not to get hurt again). You have fun together, but she sees in you the seed of  self pity so she leaves you. This time you are not sad for weeks anymore. Maybe a few days. Along with the sadness it hits you...Somebody, for some time, really thought you were the best option for a relationship. And looking around you see all these other girls that might as well think that. The problem is they don't know it yet, and all you need to do is interact with them, in standard situations, so they can see the new you. The self accepted you! You begin experiencing a new level of fear. You realize you have become something else. You are smart, charismatic, you work out and have a nice body. You know you are above the average guy. Yet you are still afraid. This time you are afraid of success, because you just don't know for sure what will happen and what to do with the "prize".