Looks F#cking Matter!

       I know, I know, all of the other pick-up sites tell you they don't. And for some time I even believed it. Man was I foolish...Maybe looks are not everything, but believe me looks are important.

     We are thought that men and women are very different, but that is not true. Not entirely. Put yourself in the girls shoes. Say you are in a club, or public place and you were to be hit on from all directions by all kinds of people. Now, as a human being, what people would you be more keen to socialize with? Seriously? Of course, the ones society told you are "beautiful". That can be a bummer, but that doesn't make it less true. 

       As a medium looking guy, former "not that desirable guy" I can confirm this theory. It was a trap. And everyone telling you looks don't matter is either good looking themselves or plain stupid. It is a great setback for everyone to think looks don't matter. Now, I may be opening the Pandora's box here, but I don't care. Everyone should strive to look its best. I am referring to the aspect that you can control of course...there is no point beating yourself up over the things you can't control. But, god damn, there are so many things you can better yourself at. It depends on what you believe really holds you back. Come on, you know...everybody thinks there is at least something that isn't perfect about then, if not, get the hell out of my blog!

       Now is that thing in your control? Can you change it? Are you fat? Maybe skinny? Three months at the gym and people will begin to see a new person in your body. Seriously, it will change your mentality as well. But don't stop there. Maybe your teeth are crooked... modern medicine can work wonders. A little time with braces and presto. New man! Also, don't forget about clothes. This is the easiest thing that you can control. You don't need to spend thousands of dollars on your wardrobe. That's insane in my opinion, but everybody with their style I guess. Just be sure your clothes represent you. That they are "your style". Society has already created several "styles" for you, so be sure to pick the one you are, inside, otherwise you will be perceived as someone who is incongruent, and that is unattractive. 

      So stop believing when a good looking guy tells you "Looks don't matter". I know it may be harsh to hear, but it's for your own good. So what to do? Here is a short list:

1. Stop believing looks don't matter. They do. Just look around you for Christ's sake. Do you believe good looking guys hook up with hot chicks because they both like the same Harry Potter book most? It's fricking obvious. Count how many good looking guy hook up with hot chick and how many not-that-good-looking guys hook up with hot chicks and do the math.

2. Do what you can to improve. Don't beat yourself up about things you cannot change now, and especially about things you cannot change ever, such as your eye color (Jesus, what is it with the obsession about green eyes, brown is also very attractive),height, hair (yes, there are bald people who are attractive through other traits: Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, Dwaine Johnson...see a pattern? ... they all are buff).

3. Maybe...lower your standards? Yes, this was something I wasn't so happy to do either. But what is better? Having an average girl who cares about you (maybe even loves you), or beating your own meat, dreaming at the porn stars, which by the way are not 10's, but you think they are after the years of meat pwning.

4. Create your own style, or adopt one that suits you best, that is expressing who you are.

      I hope you aren't feeling too down and that you take some action, that is, constructive, of course. If there is only one thing you get out of this post is that society has made it clear who needs to hook up with who, and it is very hard to break that pattern. Some have broken the pattern and those are special cases, the exception that makes the rule stronger.

      All of this is true in its entirety for women as well. 
      Share if you agree!

      All the best!

You are afraid of success!

      Well aren't you? You know you are. You are just so up in your head you've made yourself believe that you aren't.

      Are you happy with what you have/are ? If you are than I bow down to you and pray that you will stay that way all the way up to the end of your life. Because it would suck pretty much to reach your death bed and realize you didn't achieve all that you would have liked to.

       Of course, happiness is a choice you make. You decide to be happy. It's all in your head. Because there is always someone that has more than you. There is always someone that looks better than you, or has a prettier girl/boyfriend than you. You can't beat yourself up for not being the most awesome person in the world. Even if you were the best at something, you can't be the best at everything. But back to what we started with: SUCCESS.

       What is success? Is it winning? Well it sort of is, but we are talking about success in life, not having success in a particular sport/game. Success in life is constructed upon achievements. Every time we get an achievement we experience a warm feeling, telling us we are successful. Graduation, first kiss, first good payed job taken, first child born, etc. 

       So if having success feels so nice, why are we afraid of success?

           For starters, we may have never experienced success in that particular domain. I remember back in college that I almost dropped out of school because I thought that it wasn't doing me any good finishing it, and that I am only wasting my time. Now, this maybe true, if you choose the wrong specialization, but it definitely wasn't for me, as it turned down to be. 

         It always help visualizing the victory. Imagining how good it will feel after you have reached the goal. Of course you cannot know for sure, if you haven't experienced it before. This is where reading comes in handy. You want to know how having a loving partner would feel? Read romances, and prepare for major disappointments :). Just kidding. Most romances, but especially popular ones have true to them. The same is if you strive to become a famous business man/woman. 

         What I am trying to point out is that everybody has his fears, fear of  success being just one of them. And fear of success is something that holds many people back (mostly introverts - check here for personality test). It can be a bugger also, mostly because many people don't know it exists and that they have it.

          Standard situation:

          You are a 15 years old boy. Your looks don't help you very much in getting girls, but that doesn't really bother you. You are a smart kid, and you have good grades in school, so your brain is something you consider to be on your side. You haven't experienced real hurt yet, rejection, you are unaware. This is a gift, I might say because you can imagine being rejected, but since you haven't experienced it yet, you still give it a try. So, there is this girl, the prettiest girl in class which you reaaaaly like (of course, why would you go for the fat and ugly ones, right :) ). So you make up the courage to talk to her and express your feelings, but for whatever reason, you get turned down. You feel devastated! It's over. You try again one more time, maybe she gave you a reason for her rejection that wasn't you, so you draw hope (God, I hate it when this happens), but the result is the same.

         So now you begin to rationalize, right? Because you are a smart kid, you start and think, because that is what smart kids do. So because you are rejected you begin thinking there is something wrong with you, and over time you really begin to believe that. Social media gives you examples, you compare everyday and conclude you are not good enough. 

          Time passes and you change. Slowly you change, not even noticing. You are more attentive with your looks, you improve, you become better. But no one tells you this. Not even your stupid brain. You go to a good university (because you are that smart kid) hoping for "love" (what else at this age?). But your stupid brain reminds you you have "problems", and also that you fucked up big time years ago, and man, have you felt down for 2 weeks after that rejection?

       But then, something happens. Because you became an awesome guy, you have fun and you bring value in the lives of others you meet a girl (or she meets you, because you are so up in your head and you are too afraid not to get hurt again). You have fun together, but she sees in you the seed of  self pity so she leaves you. This time you are not sad for weeks anymore. Maybe a few days. Along with the sadness it hits you...Somebody, for some time, really thought you were the best option for a relationship. And looking around you see all these other girls that might as well think that. The problem is they don't know it yet, and all you need to do is interact with them, in standard situations, so they can see the new you. The self accepted you! You begin experiencing a new level of fear. You realize you have become something else. You are smart, charismatic, you work out and have a nice body. You know you are above the average guy. Yet you are still afraid. This time you are afraid of success, because you just don't know for sure what will happen and what to do with the "prize".

       

      

Clubbing...aka, Do it now, or regret it tomorrow

       You think too much, you lose it

      Yesterday I went clubbing with my friend. I know, yesterday was wednesday, but there was this party "Tranceylvania", and me and my friend like trance, a lot. What's the point? Let me get to it, then. Since the beginning of the night, my friend started sharing looks with this 9 1/2 chick across the room. He kinda knew her, because he has seem her before, but they never talked. He told me his intentions, so I tried to help him out, like a good wingman I am. So I wanted to go talk to her and play "Have you met my friend?". But he said "No, bro, I got this!" . Well, I dropped the initiative, and let him do his thing. The girl even came closer to him at the ending of the party, just for him to say ...anything. He didn't. The party was getting to an end and the girl left with some other chick, her fat friend, or whatever.

       When we went home and I asked him "Why? Why not ask her name, or anything?" He couldn't answer. No need to say that my friend is hotter than me. He said he "waited". Waited for what? For her to make the first move? Guess what. Those looks she gave him, and her getting closer, right near him...those were the first moves. He could't even make the third and fourth moves.

       Waiting for the right moment

       I am familiar with this "waiting" as well. The truth is that there is no right moment. Or at least, if it exists at all, it doesn't come very often. There is of course a chance that she will trip, and you will be right there to catch her and save her drink as well, and you can then say "Hi". But do you really want to wait until then? Really? Moreover, if the girl makes the first moves, even if they are subtle, you should go for it. I admit it, I could have hooked them up easily, but I trusted he "got it", so I didn't want to mess up his game.

 

       What I am trying to say is that girls who came at the club with their female friends come to meet guys, maybe even get a boyfriend. And her exchanging excessive stares with you and coming near you, slowly, is as forthcoming as a girl (not a slut) will ever be. Of course sluts are good as well. They will come and rub their asses all over your dick, or take you for a striptease pole. And sluts are good for other things, I don't deny their "utility", It depends what you have went in the club for, getting a girlfriend or a one night stand.

       Make a promise to yourself

      When a girl signals you, you have no excuse not to act. None! So I want you to promise to yourself that   the next time you go out you WILL NOT waste a girls time. Think of it this way. If she glances at you for the whole night, and then gets so close to you, for no apparent reason, she invests into you. She invests time in you, and she expects to get "Profit", if you know what I mean *wink*. She could have invested that time in other boys, but she chose you. That tells you that she considers you the perfect match for her in the whole club. Did you ever think of that? That you could be the main attraction for someone you don't even know? It's really sweet!

       So. I want you to share your similar experiences. Tell what she did, and what you didn't, because you "waited". 

Bald? Be bold!

       Your hair is not what it used to be? Notice how your forehead is getting bigger and your ID photo no longer seems to resemble you as much as it did when you took it? No fear! Look at the bright side (yes, there is  a bright side...actually there are more bright sides than dark).

       Let's take it step by step:

1. Is there anything that you can do about it? Like, really do. There sure are things that you can attempt to try. Like taking "magic pills" , that don't work, or waxing your head with all kinds of solutions (that don't work of course). Or, you can wear a toupee, as many like to call it. Yeah, that will work, and go unnoticed, for like 2 minutes, maybe an hour if it's good. Or even better: get that lighting thingy that you have to brush your hairless head for hours to...nothing.
    So, we can agree that there is nothing that you can do about it, I hope. If not, stop reading and go try one of the "miracles" above.

2. Should you do something about it? Well, believe it or not, there are things that you can do in order to enhance your looks, eventhough you lost most of your hair. The first one would be to shave. Yep! Not daily, but preferably 2-3 times a week. It will give you a sharp, professional look, and when freshly shaved no one will ever know you can't grow hair properly. Think of all the people that have a full head of hair and shave their head just for the looks. People like Michael Jordan, Samuel L. Jackson and Vin Diesel all haven't even began to lose hair when they decided to go for it and shave the melon.

3. You won't believe me until you try it, but after you accepted you are bald, and therefore shaved you head, you will begin to like it. And you know from my other posts that the others are just your mirror. If you are comfortable with yourself, you accept yourself, and you love yourself, others will do the same. In fact, don't believe me! Try it! There is nothing to lose. Shave your head for a few months. If you don't like it, go back to your old looks. Nothing to lose!

4. Use protection. For your head of course. The Sun and the cold will be affecting you much more now that you have nothing to block them. Use hidratating creams to moist the head skin after you shave and don't forget about UV protection.

5. "Do women like bald men?" Yes! Women like bald men! There. Get to work. And if you don''t believe me ask them yourself! The question is equivalent to "Do women like men with mohawks?' Yes! Women love men with mohawks. Even men with emo hairstyle get love. It's not the etiquette that matters. When you go shopping you buy the things you like. Oh! That sounds a bit harsh. What I wanted to say is that there will always be someone to love you, as long as you accept who you are, and if you are bold enough to ask for love! Which is not such a big deal, anyway. Many women want to give their love, but have no one to give it to, just because of men who are too scared to ask for it. YOU ARE A MAN! It is your job to seduce women. If they like you, and trust me, there are, you win. If not...neeext! I've seen some ugly motherfuckers without a penny in their pocket get 10's more than I would have wanted.

6. Give feedback. Tell me ad others about your life. Share and don't forget, bold is sexy, even if you are bald!

Your habits are your destiny

     "We are what we do repeatedly. Excellence is, therefore, not an action, but a habit." - Aristotel

      When you make a thing over and over it becomes second nature. Repetition is the mother of learning, you may have heard. Our habits define our entire future, and it is easy to figure that out. I am just here to make you see it.

      It is very important to realize that the things you do everyday and how you make them, when you add the days up and you add the things you have made, you will have a result.

     It is like a balance. If you put more weight on one side, guess what, the balance will tilt on the side you put the most weight. If you have a bad habit, the balance will tilt that way. If you have a good habit...You get the idea.

     If you like drinking, you become an alcoholic, your liver gets sick and you die. If you enjoy eating junk-food,you get fat, you die of obesity, and you don't even get to meet you grandchildren, if you get to meet your own children...

     

      Everyday you put something in the balance.

      It doesn't matter how many things you've put on the balance. Just the way it tilts. That is the most important thing, and you can feel it right now. You are always aware of your inner balance, but you like lying to yourself more than you know.

      "First of all, we create our habits. Then, our habits create us. Overpower your bad habits, or they will overpower you." - Rob Gilbert

      

      So, habits are the key. Technically, that is what I want to do in this article: to help you create one new, healthy, habbit. That is because I care about you.

      The moment you develop a new habit something very strange, but beautiful happens. You no longer require mental focus to do that. No more energy is needed to get you moving to do this. Let's take the example of brushing your teeth (I really hope you are brushing your teeth after every meal) . Remember how  much you disliked this as a child? Your parents constantly begging for you to brush your teeth? Remember how strange you felt when they were not arround to tell you to brush them? You were like: "Not brushing them once won't make a difference...I'll brush my teeth in the evening." But now, that it has become a habit, you aren't even thinking of not brushing your teeth. It has become second nature.

     And this thing happens with all new habits. It takes about 30 days to form a new habit, and a little more to get rid of an old habit. So in like 40 days you could reinvent yourself. A whole new life, a better life, just with the power of your mind.

     In the first 10 days you will have to outcome the "G-force". The G-force is what I call the comfort zone. You ask yourself: "Why do I have to do this? Who makes me do this? It's so hard...I want to quit. I'll go to gym next month!" If you go 10 days to the gym these thoughts will significantly decrease.

     Day 10 to 20 you will fight resistance. It is not as hard as the first 10 days, but you will have to make some mental effort, and will power will decrease. Something pulls you back. Fight it!

     Day 20 to 30. You begin to acknowledge that the new habit may be good for you, and you need less will power to do that new thing.

     

     Stephen Covey said: "Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny."

     So it all starts with a thought. What do you have in mind? What destiny do you want for yourself?

     Please comment below, and don't forget to subscribe!

     And another thing, before you go. Ask yourself: From the things I've learned today/yesterday/the week before, what ca I put into action right now? Have I done everything in my power to put into action those things? If not, what could happen, and what can I make to progress?